Kansas City 2023
We’re back! Quick note before you read, there are not as many pictures as usual. I had an update that removed a bunch of pictures. They were probably blurry anyway. This is the first of a few I will be dropping this month and then I’ll be back on a regular basis.
For most of my life, I didn’t think much about Kansas City. It was never the backdrop for movies or television shows. It didn’t have any natural wonders or impressive architecture. The only thing I associated Kansas City with was having the ugliest uniforms in professional sports. The Royals look like a Dodgers knockoff. The Chiefs' ketchup and mustard uniforms look like something the nerd in an 80s teen movie would wear to his job at the food court hot dog stand.
I realize uniform choice is an unfair way to judge an entire city so when I had the chance to spend a couple of days working in schools around Kansas City, I was excited. Most of the folks I’ve met from KC were not assholes and they spoke highly of their motherland. Also, the Get Up Kids are from KC and aren’t they just the most wholesome group of emo elders you ever did see?
Most folks going to Kansas City will enter via Kansas City International Airport (MCI). This airport was opened in early 2023, replacing the oddly laid-out MKC Airport. It was weird y’all. It was a circular building and the security checkpoints were set up right outside the gates creating a confusing and claustrophobic mess. Also, one time they let a passenger go through with a photocopy of their driver’s license while I got held up and searched because of a bag of almonds in my carry-on.
I didn’t know the airport was new until I had a layover in the summer of 2023. It had been about 5 years since my last trip and I was afraid I had accidentally flown into the wrong airport. After some frantic googling, I knew I was in the right place. MCI is pretty dope. It’s clean, has plenty of seating, and the food options are great. It features mainly outposts of local restaurants and an abundance of non-Starbucks coffee options.
MCI is not close to downtown. You can take the 229 bus from the airport but it’ll take you an hour. Rideshares will run about $35-40 and get you down there in 25 minutes. I rented a car because I was working in some different neighborhoods around town. You need to take a shuttle to the rental area but it's only 5 minutes away.
I was staying south of downtown in an area known as Midtown/Westport. I booked a room at the AC Hotel by Marriott which had a solid 4-plus rating on all the travel sites. It’s a chain hotel that is made to look like a boutique hotel just without the attention to detail, charm, or soul of an actual boutique hotel. The first sign of trouble was the parking. They advertise free parking but they charge you $21 a night to park in their lot. I was told, “Make sure you get back early because we don't have enough spots.” Good times.
After checking in I was encouraged to get a cocktail at the bar next to the library. I don’t drink but I am a fucking nerd so a library sounded splendid. The library was a room with 5 books that was just the lounge area for the bar. The bar came with a bartender on his phone, trying not to fall asleep where he stood. I decided to head straight to my room. It was going to be an early start to a long day so I could use the sleep.
My room was well-equipped and clean, and I climbed into bed ready to recharge. Then the room next to me decided to watch The Office. At full volume. All night. Every half hour I was woken up by the tinkling piano signaling a new episode. I called the front desk and they were absolutely baffled as to how to address such misconduct. So I banged on the wall a few times then tried to sleep some more. It was not until I left in the morning and saw a plastic bag full of McDonald’s wrappers and empty White Claw cans that it made sense as to why I never got a response.
After a fitful night’s sleep, I planned on grabbing a quick bite from the continental buffet before driving over the border to a school in Kansas. The restaurant was empty which is never a good sign but it's a hotel breakfast. How bad could it be? Turns out the food was probably fine but they were charging $25 extra for the opportunity to have a “European-inspired breakfast.” If “European-inspired breakfast” means “A lot of cereal and bread of questionable freshness” they totally nailed it. All I wanted was some Frosted Flakes. No dice.
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| What a babe. |
Meat is not a major part of my diet. As I’ve been getting older I’ve been trying to follow more of a plant-based diet to help with the ol’ blood pressure. I fuck with fish and some chicken but red meat is typically not my jam. While traveling, I’m flexible with my diet so I can experience the regional cuisine. What I’m trying to say is after working in a school all day I was famished and depleted. It was time for me to experience the healing powers of Kansas City BBQ.
Kansas City is famous for its BBQ. I allotted myself one BBQ meal and I wanted to make sure it was legit. The problem is that for every excellent BBQ spot, there are a dozen assholes who will tell you you should try someplace else. When in doubt, I ask myself, “What would Anthony Bourdain Do?” I went to Joe’s.
Joe’s Kansas City Bar-B-Que is connected to a gas station. This might be off-putting for some but to me, the closer my meal is to petrol the better it tastes. It must be the ethanol fumes. Joe’s can get packed but I was lucky to only have a couple of folks ahead of me in line. I walked up to the counter and ordered the 2 meat meal with pulled pork and ribs, along with a side order of BBQ beans. The dining area is full of tables and seating along the window. I picked a window seat because what’s the point of eating at a gas station if you can’t look at it?
My plan was to take it easy, maybe take some back to the hotel for later. That plan fell through as soon as I took a bite of the rib and the meat slipped right off the bone. The pulled pork didn’t need sauce but I put some on anyway. But those beans… those beans were the stars of the show. They were downright luxurious. Attempts to pace myself were made and failed. I was so hungry and the food was so good that within 5 minutes my plate was clean.
Did I contemplate buying more BBQ to go? I certainly did. Did the fear of late-night meat sweats keep me on the straight and narrow? It certainly did. Instead of ordering more I took in one last big whiff of smoked meat and shed a tear as I got into my rental car.
The sensible thing to do would have been to take a nap. I didn’t have time for a nap because I was heading to the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art. The NA is set up on a sprawling estate of manicured lawns and little hills lined with shady trees and pathways. It was late Fall when I visited but the weather was hovering around the mid-60’s so it was a perfect day to wander the premises. You don’t even need to go inside to see the most famous piece of art at the NA.
Among the lawns and rolling hills is a sculpture park containing modern pieces by artists such as Judith Shea and Henry Spencer. Most of the pieces are abstract and challenge the viewer to consider the deeper meaning and purpose of the piece. Then there are the shuttlecocks.
Inside the NA, you will find artwork from the masters along with a decent collection of modern and contemporary art. The museum's collection is split across two buildings. The original building is an imposing 6-story, beaux-arts style structure with columns and a grand staircase leading to the lawn. The other building is a modern steel and glass structure completed in 1999. I spent most of my time in the new building checking out the contemporary art. There is a Museum of Contemporary Art in KC but they were closed for the duration of my stay.
If I had gotten there earlier and if I hadn’t already gorged on BBQ, I would have loved to eat in the museum restaurant. The restaurant is made to look like a 15th-century Italian courtyard complete with skylights and a fountain in the middle. It’s like going to the Venetian in Las Vegas, only it doesn’t smell like urine. I had enough time to pick up some shuttlecock souvenirs and a coffee from the museum’s coffee shop before they locked my ass in there.
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| Kehinde Wiley at NA |
In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear, the NA is a phenomenal art museum. It’s an impressive structure with an even more impressive collection. If Southwest fucks around and does those $40 fares again, i’d fly out in the morning, visit the museum, then fly back. Also, it is free! (You have to pay for special exhibitions, but other than that, FREE!)
Kansas City is home to the National WWI Museum. It was way closed by the time I got there but it is worth a visit anyway. Perched atop a hill that offers an excellent view of downtown, the museum grounds have paths, green spaces, and fountains that you can admire without admission. The highlights are the Liberty Tower which stands nearly 300 ft and the bas reliefs carved into the granite. Without going inside, I would say it's another 10/10 a great place to walk off your BBQ.
I had to be up early the next day and I knew once I got back to the hotel I would crash. Therefore, I made one more stop before calling it a night. Mills Record Company is a large record store (with a small but lovingly curated bookstore) in an old antique warehouse. I am not much of a vinyl guy. I am even less of a “flying with vinyl” guy. Because of that, I skipped the many, many displays of LPs and made my way to the used (and sizable) 7” section. I was pleased to find an “I Hate The Rich” single by the first-wave California punk band The Dils. I trusted myself enough to pack it delicately in my hard shell carry-on. I also bought a T-shirt which is my ultimate sign of approval.
It was 8 pm when I got back to the hotel. I had been gone for nearly 14 hours and had to be up in 9 hours. I had hoped to relax and sleep well before heading back to Chicago. Then I saw the same garbage bag full of McDonald’s wrappers and empty White Claw cans sitting in the hallway and knew I was in for another long night.
Would I Go Back
Without a doubt. The flight is less than 2 hours, the food is excellent and there are still a lot of areas I have yet to explore. It’s cheaper than most cities and very driveable. They also have an excellent skateboard shop called Escapist and many boutique coffee shops that I need to spend more time in.
Avoid
The AC Hotel by Marriott in Midtown/Westport. I also assume winters blow in KC.
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