Nothing is Scary Anymore Except Real Life Part 4: Eastern State Penitentiary
Before the end times were upon us, I was walking around Copenhagen with my friend Peter. Peter grew up in Copenhagen and he knew I liked old stuff. He pointed out his university and informed me that when he was attending they celebrated their 800th birthday. For someone like myself who loves old cities, that’s a flex. I’m a sucker for a cobblestone street or a cafe with paneling made from a kind of oak that has long gone extinct. Narrow walkways, gas lamps, gimme all that shit. Why do I like old cities? Because I grew up next to Chicago and nothing is allowed to get old in Chicago. The mayors have torn down countless historic buildings like chubby, little Godzillas in 3 piece suits. Developers are transforming classic brick facades into modernist abominations best described as “gentrification chic”. Shit, they couldn’t even leave the Chicago River alone. They looked at it and were like, “Naw son, let’s make it go the other way.” Add in the fact that Chicago is a relatively young cit