The Twitchy Traveler’s Guide to Making Travel Less Horrible and Embarrassing
I know the traveler I want to be. I want to be the guy in a sensible sports coat, carrying a brief case that can fit easily under the chair or in the overhead compartment yet is still capable of containing a lap top, a tablet, a bottle of whiskey, a vase, and a full length mirror. All of his devices are fully charged, his gin and tonic is always half full, and he falls asleep immediately after closing his out of print hardcover biography about the father of Romanian botany. After a trans-Atlantic flight his clothes show no sign of wrinkles, his hair not even slightly tousled. There is no panic upon his exit. He does not frantically pat himself down for his wallet or passport. He is refreshed, focused, and struts off the plane confident in his purpose. He is indeed the traveler I want to be. This, however, is who I am: I’m the guy smacking everyone sitting on the aisle in the head with my backpack and carry-on duffle bag, both filled past the point of decency becaus