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2 Hours in Venice Beach

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Hey Gang! Here’s a lil' something about Venice Beach. My phone was on its last leg and it had a battery that lost its charge faster than you could say, “Damn this phone sucks”. There are not as many photos as I would’ve liked but thems the breaks. Enjoy! The amount of time I’ve spent in Los Angeles is criminally low. I don’t know why, I guess I just haven’t had many reasons to go. Most likely it’s because it is an intimidating city to visit. I’m from Chicago which is a city made up of neighborhoods. Los Angeles is a city made up of cities and it goes on forever. For example, when I found out I was going, I contacted my friend Derrick Brown who offered to let me stay at his place. He stayed in Burbank and hanging out in an actual neighborhood seemed like a great way to experience the city. It seemed that way until I learned it would take about an hour and a half in a $100 Lyft to get there Dearest reader, I am nothing if not cheap so when the client I was working for offered to boo...
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Kansas City 2023

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  We’re back! Quick note before you read, there are not as many pictures as usual. I had an update that removed a bunch of pictures. They were probably blurry anyway. This is the first of a few I will be dropping this month and then I’ll be back on a regular basis. For most of my life, I didn’t think much about Kansas City. It was never the backdrop for movies or television shows. It didn’t have any natural wonders or impressive architecture. The only thing I associated Kansas City with was having the ugliest uniforms in professional sports. The Royals look like a Dodgers knockoff. The Chiefs' ketchup and mustard uniforms look like something the nerd in an 80s teen movie would wear to his job at the food court hot dog stand.  I realize uniform choice is an unfair way to judge an entire city so when I had the chance to spend a couple of days working in schools around Kansas City, I was excited. Most of the folks I’ve met from KC were not assholes and they spoke highly of their ...
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Nothing is Scary Anymore Except Real Life Part 4: Eastern State Penitentiary

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  Before the end times were upon us, I was walking around Copenhagen with my friend Peter. Peter grew up in Copenhagen and he knew I liked old stuff. He pointed out his university and informed me that when he was attending they celebrated their 800th birthday. For someone like myself who loves old cities, that’s a flex. I’m a sucker for a cobblestone street or a cafe with paneling made from a kind of oak that has long gone extinct. Narrow walkways, gas lamps, gimme all that shit.  Why do I like old cities? Because I grew up next to Chicago and nothing is allowed to get old in Chicago. The mayors have torn down countless historic buildings like chubby, little Godzillas in 3 piece suits. Developers are transforming classic brick facades into modernist abominations best described as “gentrification chic”. Shit, they couldn’t even leave the Chicago River alone. They looked at it and were like, “Naw son, let’s make it go the other way.” Add in the fact that Chicago is a relatively ...
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The Twitchy Traveler's Guide to Thrill-Seeking Adventure

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  Life is hard. The amount of bullshit most folks deal with on the daily is ridiculous. You’ve got shitty coworkers, a boss who thinks sick days are a privilege, your back hurts, and all you want to do is get the fuck out of Dodge. Most folks are stuck with a measly 2 weeks. So why in the name of all things holy would you want to squander it by doing amateur stunt work? Vacations are for lying around, eating food, seeing cool things, and sleeping late. Vacations are not for thrill-seeking. You already do that every day when you text while driving or cut off a conceal and carry nut job looking for a reason.  Allow me to show you why your favorite thrill-seeking activities are actually the dumbest things you could do and you should feel shame for wanting to do them. Skydiving - Mankind has spent centuries trying to fly. From kites to gliders to hot air balloons to whatever the fuck it was DaVinci threw together, humans have tried everything to get up in the air and stay there. T...
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Shappy's Guide to the Lower East Side

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  Hey y’all. This one is different. My friend Shappy Seasholtz died on March 19, 2022. Shappy was a poet, comedian, and raconteur of the highest degree. I have been struggling with what I wanted to say about him because he meant so many things to so many people. I decided to focus on my favorite night with Shappy. I was in New York to perform at the Bowery Poetry Club. I was staying with Shappy and Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz in their apartment which was full of an overwhelming cache of pop culture memorabilia. Shappy took me out this night, my first real night of exploring NYC in my entire life. I hope you enjoy.  Shappy forever. Shappy's Guide to the Lower East Side, Fall 2009 Cristin could not go out because she worked like a real adult. I too, had to wake up early for a gig on the Upper East Side but I was an out-of-towner eager to take in the sites. Cristin made Shappy promise to get me home at a reasonable time and also made him promise not to get too drunk. Shappy promised...
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