Roanoke: I Hardly Knew Ye, March 2017
I had flown into Roanoke late, picked up my puke green KIA rental, and drove to the Super 8 I booked near the airport. You know how in movies when the protagonist is lost at sea in a raft or stranded on a deserted island and just as they are about to give up all hope they spot a rescue party on the horizon? That exact same thing happened to me only instead of being lost at sea, I was super hungry. And instead of a rescue party, it was a Waffle House. I shouted, “YES!!!” and punched the steering wheel repeatedly when I saw the glowing yellow sign as the GPS guided me to my hotel, which shared a parking lot with the Waffle House. Within 5 minutes I had checked in, dropped off my bags, and was sitting on a stool in the Waffle House waiting for my smothered and covered hash browns. I have never booked a hotel room based on its proximity to a Waffle House but motherfucker I might. Whilst sipping on a vanilla Coke, I flipped through a travel brochure of Roanoke and the surroun